Midlife Crisis or Midlife Reassessment?

Like so many popular 20th century concepts, the image of a man in an existential crisis at age 50 who trades in his long-time wife and car for newer models is on the wane – and may never have been correct. Psychoanalyst Elliott Jaques coined the term in 1965 to describe his midlife client’s sudden change in lifestyle and productivity, but the breakthrough “Midlife Development in the U.S. (MIDUS)” studies conducted over three decades beginning in 1995, proved otherwise. Only an estimated 10% of adults actually experienced a midlife crisis while the majority considered it a period of great satisfaction, redefining it as a time of deepened connections and continuity, peak earning power, career advancement, and greater emotional intelligence. In fact, asserts study author Margie Lachman, PhD, adults reach the apex of their competence and expertise in middle age, with time to chart a healthy course for the future.

Midlife Challenges and Stressors

Still, midlife does pose its share of challenges in terms of concurrently balancing as many as eight roles, including spouse, parent, grandparent, adult child, sibling, friend, co-worker, and caregiver. Partially a result of an ongoing cultural shift encouraging openness around mental health, today’s midlife adults are more frequently diagnosed and seek help with issues such as depression and anxiety – from 31% in 2019 to 45% in 2023 among ages 35 to 44; and from 26% to 36% among ages 45 to 64, as reported in the American Psychological Association’s annual “Stress in America” survey.

Work is the primary stressor for many midlife patients of concierge psychologist Dr. Rebecca Osei. “Their self-worth is intertwined with career achievement,” she says. “If they haven’t yet reached the goals they set for themselves, there can be issues with depression and how to move forward from this point.”

High achievers face their own set of problems, according to psychiatrist Brook Choulet, MD, who works with CEOs and elite athletes contending with mental health concerns despite the outward appearance of great success. “I often start by asking how they would feel if I sent them on a two-week vacation right now,” she says. “Their answer can help reveal whether they’re headed toward burnout (removing the stress factor of work improves their mood) or struggling with clinical depression or an anxiety disorder.”

Strategies for High Achievers to Overcome Stress and Anxiety

Top performers are driven to constantly keep chasing the next goal, rather than taking the time to appreciate their achievements, says Choulet. “Many also have perfectionist tendencies, leading to stress and fear of failure if everything is not done flawlessly.” She helps them overcome their challenges with strategies that include:

  • Establishing good boundaries between personal and professional life.
  • Adopting a growth mindset focused on progress rather than perfection.
  • Developing stress management and self-care techniques. “Prioritize your own mental health in order to lead effectively.”
  • Taking a pulse on what brings you joy. “This is particularly important as you near retirement and can’t imagine life without work. Lean into your network of friends and family and learn how to step away and enjoy what you really love,” says Choulet.
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